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Sunday, January 31st, 2010
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self conscious about being a slut.
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Thursday, January 21st, 2010
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I love Pink Floyd. Oh, how i love them.
"Open your heart; I'm coming home". every time i hear that it gives me the biggest smile. I don't know who wants me to open my heart but i am certainly excited about you getting here :)
Good day, good day.
Hello twenty: New year, new decade. Shedding all my worries and moving toward a void of splendor.
Hello life: Where have you been? Just passing me by with little notice. Well here i am out of my cocoon; come and get me.
Hello boy with a beautiful smile. Glasses and a leather jacket: want to take me for a ride?
I forgot how much i loved shaved legs. I feel more attractive, if that makes any sense. I have not had a chance to show off my nicely shaved legs but they are there, smooth, delicious.
I feel positively radiant and i feel compelled to speak to everyone.
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Wednesday, January 6th, 2010
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I can't think of anything of real meaning to say.
I do love feeling free...and what can be freer than being naked smoking a jay with good people?
What can be freer than running around naked not feeling the cold because your blood runs with such passion?
What can be freer than following your desires?
What can be freer than dancing for hours feeling the intensity of every movement?
What can be freer than singing your heart out?
What can be freer than being with people you love?
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Friday, December 11th, 2009
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I bought these awesome snow boots monday. First thing that happens when i put on my right boot ::rip::. Well i stitched it up and i will see how well it keeps my foot warm with a rip that has been heedlessly stitched up with thin thread. I suppose if push really comes to shove i will have to ditch these silly boots that were made in china for some boots made in austria -.-
The court still does not want to drop the charges. And now apparently i am also being accused of being intoxicated. Great. Oh, cobb county courts system how flawed you are and how relentlessly you try to point a finger when there is no finger to be pointed. Vengeance runs through my veins and this man will regret having messed with me. if when asked point blank if i were inebriated and he answers yes, I will make it my soul duty to get that son of bitch fired. "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned." Oh wise fat man you should use your brain. Clear your eyes of the fog of misery and see life bloom and dance in front of your eyes. In other words: You just touched a girl who sleeps like a rock but once woken will roar like a lion. It's not that i can't be mean.....deliberately anyway.It is just i rarely feel there to be an actual cause. This is a cause.
Please, just roll in bed with me? Nay, just lay in bed with me. tender wonderful touch you consume me: you are so addicting.
Sometimes i feel like life is like lighting a joint on a windy day. No matter what angle you position yourself, the fire blows out. And you are left disappointed and sober.
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Thursday, December 10th, 2009
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This time tomorrow i will be surrounded by strangers in the sky.
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Tuesday, December 1st, 2009
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If i were you i would hate me too.
As i looked up at the silver sun in the early evening sky all i could do is think of how the clouds form a perfect frame for a lovely scene.
the only way to get with him is by getting with his friend.
It has been a long time since my roommates have seen happy- i am glad. It is refreshing. but unfortunately i can't help but anticipate for the misery to come sweeping back in and take hold of them. Until that time i will enjoy it and hope it does not fade. Love shouldn't fade.
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Thursday, November 19th, 2009
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| Time: | 10:08 pm. |
| Music: | sex and the city. |
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cookies n cream ice cream out of the carton.
So here i am eating my feelings.
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Friday, November 13th, 2009
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"But i believe love to be pain, anguish, sacrifice, torturous, and fighting and being able to get over it"
My heart wrenched while agony wrung my face.
"Oh my." trespassed my mind shamelessly
All i wanted to do was crawl up next to him and say "No, No, No dear it is anything but those emotions. Love is sweet rapture, ecstasy, bliss, forgiving, understanding, accepting, desire, and living through new experiences."
Maybe i am the naive one, living in a fairytale with my eyes sealed shut so no horrid emotions will ever be able to seep through into my utopian mind.
And i can feel the earth shudder under my feet at such a thought: Love is the enemy. So what is Hate? Or is Love the seed that sprouted Hate?
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Thursday, November 5th, 2009
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The real you is not half the man i have built you up to be in my head.
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Wednesday, October 28th, 2009
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I love life and even though i think i am a mix of existenialism and objectivism (i know fairly clash) every time i listen to "pure imagination" i can't help but feel that this is life: What is reality?
Hold your breath
Make a wish
Count to three
Come with me
And you'll be
In a world of
Pure imagination
Take a look
And you'll see
Into your imagination
We'll begin
With a spin
Traveling in
The world of my creation
What we'll see
Will defy
Explanation
If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Wanta change the world?
There's nothing
To it
There is no
Life I know
To compare with
Pure imagination
Living there
You'll be free
If you truly wish to be
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Monday, October 5th, 2009
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The other day i was driving and i felt an absurd object in my mouth which started melting and consuming my thoughts. When i registered what it was i almost forgot that i was driving. Reality. All of a sudden my impenetrable bubble of happiness was shot. I am a lost adolescent. My beliefs are concrete. My thoughts are air: they blow by but i can't see them. They are inaudible and hard to comprehend. I can feel something but i just can't fathom it. I feel as though i am water every changing and always grounded. i can go anywhere and take many forms but who i am is essential for my life but it is hard to follow what i am . You can imbibe me and i will become part of you. You can bathe in me and feel me caress every part of you. I can stimulate your brain or cleanse your body of adolescent mistakes. I am around. All around. With my thoughts of air and my body of water i am unavoidable and inescapable. But what am i? And where will i end up?
I want to lay in bed with you next to me speaking of how we will die someday and it is ok because we have lived.
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Saturday, September 19th, 2009
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| Time: | 9:02 pm. |
| Mood: |  blank. | | Music: | mute. |
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When will the fighting stop. After multiple battles have been lost when do you decide you have lost the war?
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Thursday, September 17th, 2009
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Wrap me up in song and produce me as a melody. I am bored so i will be in sheets for the next 30 minutes. Incoherent and beautiful. Tears of Joy but they run as sadness. Incomplete but perfect. Forever but it never started. Blue eyes and a yellow smile. Riddle me this, the answer to my question: What is time?
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Wednesday, September 9th, 2009
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You are always coming and going. Now it is time for you to decide if you want to stay or if you want to leave. there is no right answer but just choose and be done with it.
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Thursday, September 3rd, 2009
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I am listening to the backstreet boys
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Thursday, August 27th, 2009
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I swear, by my life and my love for it, that i will never live for the sake of another man nor ask another man to live for the sake of mine.
I just don't understand how someone can willingly be ok with their hard work being given to the homeless people of atlanta? I just don't understand why anyone is ok with taxes in general. Ok i understand we need some taxes and that not everyone receiving aid is a terrible person but let's face it most of them are. There are so many peoplei have met that trhough thick and thin they have kept their head above water by good old fashion hard work. Why does this concept seem so out dated? I know it seems crazy that our ancestors would only reap what they sow.....but you only gain what you put effort into! I just don't understand? Call me a capitalist bitch but unless you are paralyzed where not even your vocal chords work i think you should be dead....you arn't doing much anyway. I bet one day i will be one of those cripples....i hope i contribute a little more than helping plants photosythesize. It seems so ridiculous to me that ANYONE shoudl EXPECT money from the government. or EXPECT anything from another because they arn't as privilidged. Now, i realize i am spoiled. I realize i have had great circumstances but i work. I go to school not by the mercy of my parents but by my choice and if it wern't for the GA lottery paying for my school i have money in order to pay for my school on MY own. You know in the animal kingdom, animals naturally try to keep all members safe. It is not forced. Animals, however, do cast away any animal which is a good for nothing. What happened? When did people start thinking that the schmucks of the sociaty deserve a chance, too? Nay, not a chance but aid to help them live a life that people who work hard TRY to have. The U.S preisdent Obama stated that thoe without medical insurance will be able to get the same kind of medical attention as lawyers or businessmen. How is that fair? Now now now don't get me wrong i fully believe the medical industry is a service not a business and that anyone seeking medical attention should never be turned away. That being said the same kind of attention and treatment? Now that is crossing the line...just a little. If i get my face ripped off and i go to the doctor for surgery i would never expect the same kind of outcome than if i were Pam An who has a ton of money. I would expect half my face still dismemebered. That is life. I work hard so that way if that scenario happens i can get GREAT medical insurance so my face can be reconstructed as well as if pan an got hers off. I just don't understand? In my mind there is absolutely no excuse for anyone, especially in the state of GA, where the government pays for your college if you maintain a 3.0 average...which let's face it if you are not making a 3.0 anyway you might as well not be in school and you should find a job working at a local business anyway. If you are not making good grades don't pay and certainly don't let others pay for you to fail. I digress, any person in GA who wishes to have job in a field with a higher paying salary and do not wish to just climb the internal rungs of a business (Because college is not the only way to succeed) then maybe you are just genetically predispositioned to work at McDOnalds and you know what THERE IS NO SHAME IN WORKING there. There is no such thing as a bad job. Any job brings you money and that is the point. Every job will help you grow, do not complain. Just about any job out there will offer some benefit...unless it really is just a ma and pa place in which case pick up a side job at pizza hut where they will give you life insurance along with medical and dental insurance.
There is no excuse for failure other than yourself. That may be tough to think about and that might hurt but that is the truth. Perseverance, motivation, and positivity are the only things which separate me from the homeless man living on the intersection of Edgewood and piedmont.
ATLAS WILL SHRUG
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Thursday, August 13th, 2009
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Tomorrow is not guaranteed
I say live life and be free
Take my hand and walk with me
Into the world i play in- which is make believe
Hold your breath and tell me what you see
Don't worry It's just imaginary
Let's Run through a field
and Refuse to yield
to any pain or anyone
I just want to have some fun
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Wednesday, August 5th, 2009
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sometimes i just want to lay down, legs spread, and say "cum on in baby"
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Thursday, July 23rd, 2009
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People say i am incredible. People say that any person should feel priveledged to be out with me. People say i am interesting. People say i am pretty. People say i am smart. People say i am funny. People say i am well rounded. People say i will go far. People say iam envied. People say i am super cool. People say a lot of things to me about me.
Sometimes i think people think i need to hear these things. I have not been on a date in over a year where the guy afterwards has not texted me almost immediatly afterwards. That being said....how do things go wrong? Sometimes me, sometimes him but all in all it is usually the guy which disappears. Disappears after telling me how much fun he had; How great i am! So great that a week later he has lost interest. I am just that good.
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Saturday, June 27th, 2009
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bandaid_lips's journal
awake.
distressed.
chipper.
okay.
annoyed.
curious.
crushed.